Essay Revision 400 words

There are many things in this essay that I can definately change some of them will be easier and some will be harder. Some of the easy things to change are my citations and a title. This is an easy ten points that I can get back. I also had no quotes so that will be some thing that I can definately add to my essay. I can definately work on my ending sentences to each paragraph they are weak sentences. I can go deeper into the Literary features and I definately want to make my thesis statement I can do a lot of things to my introduction like taking the analysis out of it, strengthen my thesis and background information. Quotes are something very important that I can put into my essay. I will find a quote from the book and I will insert it into the right part of the essay so that it flows and I will de more literary analysis to back up those quotes that I used. I also want to talk more about my performance and and what I think Tom would be thinking when certain lines are being said. For example, when Tom yells at Amanda, I want to quote that sentence from the book, explain why it is important, and then talk about my personal experience delivering that line and what I think Tom in the book is thinking. I also need to really work on my conclusion. I need to do a better job of wrapping up the essay. I can talk more about my performance tactics. I can improve my reflection on my performance.    I could also talk about the good parts of the performance that I felt were successful and I would also talk about the bad. I could talk about forgetting any lines, stage movements and other small errors and mistakes that are normally made during a performance. I can talk about the changing of my voice from when I am absolutely mad at Amanda and also when I talk to Laira. When I talk to Amanda most of the time I am yelling at her. And the times that I talk to Laura, I am not as upset or angry I talk a lot nicer to her than Amanda. I think that I will be able to make a lot of these changes for my final essay.